Ditch the Mom Guilt, Love your kids well, then go out with your friends!

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We get our kids for all of 18 years, if we’re lucky. That’s 18 birthdays, 18 Valentine’s Day parties, 18 summers at the pool, and countless days, good times, bad times, and bedtimes in between.

Everything in our culture today tells moms:

Spend as much time with them as you can!

Watch them while they sleep because they change so fast!

Don’t let their childhood pass you by!

Put down your phone and focus on your kids!

(Ironically, here is a post I wrote about how to connect with your kids!)

Well moms, here’s the thing…

you really can only sit and watch your kids for so long before you go crazy! You have to eventually live your life!

You eventually will have to look at your phone!

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Besides, if you watch them for too long, you’ll be way too tempted to start telling them to stop doing this or that.

You’ll start to get irritated at the way they make that weird

and very purposeful smacking noise when they eat their food.

You’ll probably start to twitch even.

Try it and see if I am not right!

And with the free time that you have while you are watching them be kids, you will eventually find yourself thinking about what to make for dinner, and what time your husband is coming home.

It might even cross your mind to call or text a friend while you are watching the kids be kids.

And here’s the other thing…

I’m no parenting expert, but it’s probably not good for your kids to know that they are constantly being watched and swooned over by you. It seems that this may make them a bit… narcissistic?

Here’s the last thing…

your life was not meant to be lived solely to enjoy your kids! I mean, your kids are great, but you had a life before them, and if you play your cards right, you’ll have a life after them too!

Every waking moment really can not be spent thinking about how much you love your kids. It can’t be spent only supporting your kids. It can be spent doing laundry and housework! It can’t be spent only giving, giving, GIVING to your kids! 

P.S. Here’s one more thing…

I promise you that no mother EVER, in any generation has ever had the time, or probably even the desire, to sit and focus their every moment on watching and spending time with their kids! If they did, they certainly didn’t enjoy every minute of it!

Don’t get me wrong, My favorite place to be is at home with my kids. But I have been guilted too much into feeling like I should be sitting and playing with my kids constantly.

I’ve been guilted into feeling like the years are short and I should not take one moment for granted.

I’ve been guilted by the notion that I should be striving to give my kids the best of me because they are innocent and that anything less that I give them is an indication that I am doing something wrong!

And just one more thing- I promise…

Time is just time, spend it how you choose to and don’t feel guilty if that time is not spent giving every last bit of yourself to your kids. Your life will pass by just as quickly and the days will drag just as much weather or not you spend most of your time and talents on your kids or not.

Use your time wisely and don’t waste it on things that don’t matter. But seriously, take some time to do something for you. 

Heck, take some time and give it to another mom who needs it!

In all honestly, you won’t remember all the days and moments that you spent with your kids anyway! You won’t cry at the end of your life that you took some time to invest in yourself.

So dear moms, don’t feel like you have to give quite EVERYTHING to your kids. Hold some back for yourself. Save some for your husband, and your friends because they need you also!

So go out with your girlfriends! Leave the kids at home for a bit, and ditch the mommy guilt! When you come back, it will make the time you give to them feel that much more purposeful!


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20 thoughts on “Ditch the Mom Guilt, Love your kids well, then go out with your friends!”

  1. Love this! I used to feel guilty all the time about being bored staying home with kids when they were little and wanting to do other things. I learned to release it by stop using words like “should” and “supposed to”.

    1. Yes! should and supposed to are such irritating words to use! There are so many different ways to do things, and raising kids is no exception! Thanks

  2. Yes! To all of this!! It may mean your kids are crying as you leave and you may feel terrible for the first 30 minutes…but that feeling will fade and it’s necessary to get out/away! Great post! I can tell you’re a wonderful mom who loves her kids well 🙂

  3. Love this! Mom guilt can prevent us from doing so many things that are truly beneficial, both for our own self care and wellbeing, and that of our children!! Thank you for sharing this!

  4. I think this is a great article because society can be so judgmental. I have heard other women talk poorly about other moms who take the time to enjoy themselves which I think is not fair. I am a first time mom coming in May and I plan to devote my love and life to my child, but I also need to a be human individual as well. Our families are encouraging that my husband and I spend time going out on date nights and still making time for friendships so I am happy we have a support system behind us to allow us to both love our kids and love ourselves!

  5. I needed this post. Thank you so much. The mom guilt is always in my thoughts but I need to stop feeling guilty all the time. My son is healthy and happy, he can learn to play by himself sometimes <3

    1. Lorena, you are a great mom, I’m sure! Mom guilt is the downfall of moms everywhere! Keep your head up and take care of yourself as well as your son and and he will be just fine 🙂

  6. I love this post! I feel awkward when other people say that they love watching their kids sleep or eat all the time. I have a 3 and 1 year old and I am so glad when they finally sleep that I just want to sit on the sofa or do something for myself instead of watching them! I absolutely love my kids but I also need me, and in order to be a good mum for them I have to focus on myself as well!

    1. Haha absolutely, you can only watch them sleep fore so long before you start thinking about random stuff other than your child’s sweet face! Thanks for the comment!

    1. Thanks Simcha! I have struggled with this a lot and finally realized that I wasn’t a great mom when I didn’t get away from my kids now and then 🙂

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