Here is what all moms want to hear- young and older, novice and wiser. Every mom is an amazing picture of selflessness, and every mom needs support of other moms.
Too many times we judge each other. Instead of lifting up and supporting other moms, we put them down with our looks, and our eye rolls, and our purposeful ignoring of another frustrated and struggling mom.
The truth is though, that fighting for women means fighting with your fellow women, not against!
Here is what every mom wants to hear: I see you, and I’ve got your back…
~ I see you, frazzled mom in the checkout at Wal-mart.
Your kid is wearing a diaper and shoes- and its cool, cause it’s summer here in the Midwest- sucking on his favorite grungy blankie that looks like it took a few too many tumbles in the dog water bowl. I see you cause I’m a mom too, and I know what its like to be so tired, but to also be responsible for feeding your family. Hang in there!
~ I see you worried mom who is angrily snapping at her kids at the skate park instead of laughing and having fun.
I see through your angry exterior, I see the worry and dread down below over what could happen to your kid when going down that concrete death hill on his brand new roller blades. I understand that worry. Keep worrying, but don’t forget to smile also, and remember, it will probably turn out OK in the end.
~ I see you, scared mom who’s health issues take you away from your family sometimes.
I see your worry that your children’s lives will pass you by. Hang in there and love them with all you’ve got- they love you no matter what.
~ I see you, athletic mom at the gymnastics meet.
Standing there in your tight workout pants that show off your amazing body that you’ve worked hard for- I can see where your little gymnast gets her athletic abilities. I applaud you for making the time to take care of yourself.
~ I see you, stuck-up mom at the PTA meeting.
I see you promoting your own importance, I see your fear that no one would like you if they saw the real you. I sometimes feel that way too.
~ I see you, quiet mom standing by yourself at the women’s retreat.
I see you feeling alone and friendless and wondering why it seems so easy for other women to make friends. You are not alone in your loneliness.
~ I see you, self-conscious mom at the pool.
I see you wondering if your mom body is too much for your new bikini. You wonder if you are as beautiful now as you were before you had kids- trust me, you’re more beautiful now.
~ I see you, mom at the school function alone.
You’re holding back tears because you just got in a fight with your husband and you really hate him right now but are trying to hold it together for your kids. I see your welling tears because now you feel guilty that you feel so angry and why can’t you just be that happy mom that every one else seems to be. I get it, I’ve been right there.
~ I see you, mom at the park scrolling on your phone.
Instead of intently paying attention to your kid every time he yells at you to “watch,” you’re taking time out for yourself. I see your need for a break from always being on duty. Don’t feel guilty for looking at your phone during your down moments, your kid will be fine.
~ I see you carefree mom who is without her kids for the evening.
You’re laughing and having a drink with friends. Enjoy your time, and when you are ready to get back to those babies around 10 pm, you go, and don’t feel guilty, or old.
~ I see you tired mom of that snotty faced toddler.
Your kid is currently hanging from your hand like a drunken idiot while you drag him through the store and plead with him to walk, pretending that you feel his pain when all you really want to say to him is “knock it off!” I’ve been there so many times.
~ I see you sweet mom who has lost 3 babies.
Although miscarriage has stolen pieces of your heart, you’re still willing to give yourself again for the chance to hold your precious baby in your arms. I see you, and I hurt for you. Keep your head up because one day you’ll find the peace you’re looking for.
~ I see you, mom of those adopted boys.
Their beautiful brown skin makes them stand out in your social circle of white. I see you hoping that others see in them what you see in them, and not the color of their skin alone.
~ I see you soccer mom.
You’re in the stands screaming angrily at your kid to get up after being knocked down. I hear the anger in your voice, but past the anger, I see a mom who truly loves her kid and desperately wants him to be all that he can be, and absolutely nothing less because you know how hard life can be. I also hate it when my kids don’t try their best at something that I know they can do.
~ I see you mom of that little boy in his wheelchair.
I see you proudly love your son at the grocery store when other people stare. I see you treat him with kindness and patience and know that you are probably not always patient, but that you are when it counts. I don’t truly understand your life, but I can try.
I see all these moms because I am a mom, and have played the role of many of these moms.
We all have immense value and to knock down another mom by judging her on a snapshot of her life is detrimental to all moms. We can’t know exactly what another mom is going through, but we can try- and that makes all the difference.
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