Hello there! I am assuming that you stumbled upon this article because you were trying to get away from your kids, who are currently driving you nuts. Or because you just lost it on your kids and you need to let your mommy guilt simmer down before you can back and Mom again. Or perhaps this is message is not for you, and you came upon this article randomly. In that case- send this article to every mom that you know. She will thank you for it.
Today’s world is full of advice, tips, shoulds and shouldn’ts, expectations, and implications. “You SHOULD love your kids, but you SHOULDN’T SPOIL them.” “You SHOULD keep your kids safe, but you SHOULDN’T be a helicopter parent or your kid will turn out codependent!” “You SHOULD be there when your kid needs you” and “you SHOULD be able to maintain a career.”
You are a mom in 2019, and it is well known that you are responsible for taking care of your kids. Aside from that, there are just a few extra things that no one has actually told you to do, but that you get the feeling you should be doing. Lets lay these things out:
Cleaning the house
Making sure you kids are clean
Making sure their teeth are brushed
Making sure they are getting a good education
Making sure they don’t use bad words
Making sure they are turning out to be good people
Making sure they feel loved and supported
(Same applies to your significant other!)
Going to work to bring in income
Growing your career
Climbing the ladder of success
Making your boss happy
Being a good friend
Actually making time for your friends
Driving your kids places
Making sure they are not hanging with bad influences
Planning birthday parties
Buying birthday and Christmas gifts
Etc. Etc. Etc
I am sure that you can add a few things to that list that I missed!
The point is, moms- heck, women in general- are responsible for a lot of things in life! And while I do think that society has gotten much better about recognizing our efforts, we as moms have NOT gotten better about placing low value on ourselves. It’s sad really, to think that someone responsible for birthing and raising another human being, AND all that other stuff would not see their own value.
This post is for all the moms out there who doubt their value. Its for the moms who feel like screw ups because their kids are acting like brats, and who don’t feel very loved. (Literally while writing this post my two year old son responded to my, “I love you,” with, “I DON’T love you!”)
6 Reasons why you are a better mom than you think!
One: You show up for your kids!
You are there for your kids Every. Single. Day. You don’t run away when parenting gets rocky, and you don’t stop loving your kids even when you feel unloved by them. You persevere because you know that they are worth it! Remember, the most important parenting work is often done in the trenches.
Two: You take on all of your responsibilities because they NEED you to!
You may love your job, or you may cry everyday that you have to work. Either way, you go. You go because its important to support your kids and to show them what courage and perseverance look like. You make lunches when you’re exhausted late at night, or you home school your children because although it is hard, you believe it is a better way of life for them. You work through issues with your husband instead of walking away, because you know how much that would hurt your kids.
Three: You put aside your own needs and wants for them, not always, but when it matters.
You get up in the middle of the night when they cry, want to eat, or are scared and can’t sleep. You give them a bath when you haven’t had time to shower that day, and you serve them food first when you are hungry too. You sit and play cars with your toddler because he wants you to, even though you have 100 other things you need to be doing. You get out of bed, when you’re depressed, and sad, and take care of your kids.
Four: You’re constantly thinking about them.
You may have a thousand things going on, but your kids are never far from your mind. You think and worry and plan for their physical and mental health, and for their futures. You celebrate their victories and cry for their losses.
Five: You apologize to them when you make a mistake or lose your cool.
You are not perfect, and you feel short on patience a lot. But when you know you’re wrong, you don’t ignore your bad behavior, you apologize to them, no matter how young, because you know that this is important.
Six: You are constantly trying to be better.
You are often thinking of ways to improve and do things differently and better. You do this to improve your relationship with your kids, and to improve their lives. You know that a happy, strong mom often equals and happy and strong child.
We are all looking for something. That’s why we pick up our phones and get on our laptops and scroll Facebook, because we are looking for interaction, and validation, and connection. We are looking for others to lift us up and tell us we are not bad moms because we can’t handle everything at once very gracefully sometimes.
As a mom myself, I truly hope that you have found some inspiration and encouragement in these words meant for you! So when you are tempted to devalue yourself, remember that you are better and stronger than you think, especially to those little kids who see you as their world!
Standing strong together as moms,